My Men and Their Lingerie: Ushering in the Era of the Secret Underneath

My Lingerie Origins

For as long as I can remember, I've had a love for lingerie. At an age far too young, I was drawn to the pages of the catalogs with slips, bras, panties and lacy things. Perhaps this was the emergence of My sapphic side, but that's a discussion for Kinsey, and I want to talk about lingerie today. Yes, even when I was young, lingerie held a special place in My mind. I wrote secret erotica about a woman wearing a teddy for her boyfriend when I was in middle school, and around that same time I made a point to leave a silk nighty on My bed when I knew a boy was coming over for My birthday party. There were small moments of embarrassment and shame in these young behaviors, the flush of My cheeks when the boy next to Me looked over My shoulder to read what I was scribbling away in My notebook during assembly, the surprised look on his face after reading My youthful smut. These early memories are so vivid and solid in My mind, and they have never left.

Several years later, I remember the first time I wore lingerie for a boyfriend. A full teddy/bodysuit with garter belts and stockings. White and blue, silk and lace. I shouldn't have even had this piece of lingerie (how it came to Me is a well-kept secret) and it was far too mature for Me at that time, but I loved how it felt. I put My jeans and shirt over the lingerie and set out to meet him. I remember the feel of the garter straps under My jeans. The tight bodysuit hugging My body. He was nowhere near mature or smart enough to understand the magnitude of what he was being presented. He couldn't appreciate what it meant for a woman to wear lingerie just for him, to reveal something scandalous, beautiful and secret hidden under everyday clothing. Perhaps I was simply ahead of My age, knowing what a much higher caliber woman knew… the woman I eventually became. Not one of those early boyfriends appreciated the little nighties and mesh I wore. They were focused on the one thing, not the art of seduction, not the sensuality of a woman in lingerie, just getting that dick wet. I still have the first pieces I bought on My own once I was out of the house and in college. Trashy, not elegant, but they were the first: black and leopard print, one in kisses print… very Valentine's Day. Shoved in a drawer because I could never part with the memory or what they represent (the original teddy is long gone).

After college I moved to Pennsylvania. Through a series of events and connections… and biting a stripper at a strip club out of sheer excitement… I found Myself asking My then-FWB to take Me to the swingers club a few hours away. I had studied the club, read up on the culture and the scene, and came prepared! I had learned that changing halfway through the evening was somewhat customary, so I packed a full corset and lingerie change for My first night. There was something so freeing, so bold and exciting about walking through a club of people in lingerie. I was changed forever. Fast forward 15 years and I continue, to this day, to enjoy that freedom of expression in those clubs and in the dungeon. Now I have an overflowing wardrobe of lingerie, a closet of fetish wear and Domme adornments, and an attic with several totes of costumes. Lingerie isn't an afterthought for Me; it's a full and important part of My wardrobe and who I am. Lace, mesh, garter belts and stockings still make My heart dance and My primal sexual self emerge.

Women in lingerie have been in our world, and clearly Mine, forever. The seductive trope of a woman in a trench coat and lingerie is classic and will never lose its appeal. Burlesque takes lingerie to theatrical levels, delighting in the slow reveal: dress, then secret lingerie, then the final sight of bare flesh. And lingerie isn't just for the person you're wearing it for; it's for the wearer, to slip into something undeniably meant to make you feel sensual, sexy and desired. We are almost spoiled by it now. It's no longer found only in those catalogs. On FetLife, X and Instagram, lingerie on a woman is as normal to see as a tank top… far more arousing, but common nonetheless.

But why are we stopping at women? Why aren't our men doing the same thing?

The Boys in Lace

I am a Dominatrix. I work with crossdressers and sissies, and I love these pets and the profound sessions we've had. I like a man seeking to touch into his feminine side. Yes to this! I am also a fan of sending a pet home in My dirty underwear, and I had one I often asked for photographs of him in My panties. The filthy side of this I loved, but the way he still appeared masculine while in My thong was also very sexy to Me.

A few years ago, a client mentioned mesh boxers as a kink for them. I went looking some up for inspiration, and what I stumbled on changed My world, in a wonderfully wicked way. I found a brand of men's underwear that, to Me, felt just like looking at those catalogs of women in their lingerie so many years ago (how about that, Kinsey!). It was clearly marketed toward gay men, but I was suddenly looking at gorgeous men in briefs, thongs, jockstraps and shorts. Not some solid color boxers, not a funny pattern… lace designs, mesh designs, pretty prints and florals, all framed somehow, effortlessly, in masculinity. Think Calvin Klein men's underwear ads from the '90s, but so much prettier. I fell in love. I was secretly obsessed with this brand and wanted every pet to wear them for Me. I bought one jockstrap from the company, Skull & Bones, for that mesh-loving pet, and the in-person feel was as good as the photographs.

I held this love of the brand for a while. I had mentioned it over time to a pet or two but still had no real wearers for Me; I simply wasn't asking where I should have. The brand regularly released new designs, and just like Honey Birdette, it made a regular appearance in My emails. An octopus print came out, and one of My Boys is a big octopus fan. I showed him the ad, mostly in passing, partly in hope, and shared the "very cool purple octopus design" on a pair of men's briefs. The link was requested and sent. He did the rest. He bought the exact pair I'd sent, and the octopus print came first: a surprise, revealed under jeans one night. My elated response was immediate and primal. You see, My Boys are masculine. As much as I enjoy playing with CDs and sissies, these Boys don't want to dress as women or feel overtly feminine, nor do I demand that of them. But you know what they do want to feel? Sexy! And together, what we discovered for them was the exact love of lingerie I discovered so many years ago under those jeans.

One pair turned into several, and mesh and lace came into play too. Slowly over the past year, I managed to get all My Boys into wearing lingerie boxers and briefs for Me when we go out. They get excited knowing the secret they carry for Me; they feel sexy getting dressed and picking out their lingerie for Me. This doesn't pull from their manliness, doesn't make them feel anything but desired and sensual in the way they should. I feel the way that stupid boyfriend should have felt: aroused, teased and enticed. These Boys love their underwear, and I can tell every time they share a picture on their profiles or ask Me to take one. One of My Boys just purchased a harness from the brand. I was so excited that I immediately soaked it in My pussy juice to mark it as Mine. Yeah, it got that kind of reaction.

Perhaps My non-binary side is part of why this hits Me the way it does, My love of blending gender in subtle ways. I enjoy the idea of bridging the masculine and the feminine as if the distinction is entirely unnecessary, as if all we should care about is the feel and the look. I drooled over a man in a corset at Vancouver Fetish Week recently. Perhaps it's an extension of My bisexuality (here comes Kinsey again). None of this asks My Boys to be less masculine. Lace costs a man nothing; it only adds. This attraction is not unique to Me. I see an opening for a new era of sensual expression, a shift I would really love to see. It should start here, where the kinkiest and most sexually free people congregate.

The Ushering

So with this post, I want to usher in the era of the secret underneath! Call it underwear if you must. But to Me, it is lingerie. Hot men, wear the lace, the mesh, the fun and colorful patterns. Skull & Bones incorporates little skulls so even the lace has a touch of toughness. Adorn your cock in materials that make you feel a little extra sexy for us. Tease us with your secret thong, your mesh briefs, your jockstrap if you are bold. This doesn't make you less manly; it doesn't challenge your own sexuality; it just makes you more awesome. Ladies, buy your man the daring underwear and tell him he looks good. 8/10 will probably wiggle their little (or big) man ass at you. It's time all our men dress up and show off for us! Gentlemen, put the lace on, pull your jeans over it, and walk out into the world carrying a secret that is equal parts cute and dangerous. Then show us!

For too long, we ladies and those brave and risky crossdressers have been the only ones who know how it feels to wear a little secret underneath. That stops now!

Original post written for Fetlife on September 19th, 2026